The best strategy I used was approaching everything with connection and relationship in mind. One of the best ways I ensured I connected with each student, each day, was by having our daily "Check-in" every morning, no matter what.
I had a class of talkers and sharers, so instead of trying to get them to be quiet, I decided I would give them their chance to talk at the beginning of the day, to get out what they wanted (and needed) to say. This became our “Check-in”.
I did not realize it when we started it, but Check-in turned out to be one of the most powerful activities that we did.
Check-in not only gave me the opportunity to meaningfully connect with each student everyday, but for them to connect with each other. This daily ritual was critical in building the sense of community and connection that developed in our class. It gave each child the opportunity to ‘have their say’ at the beginning of every day, to say how they felt and why, and provided a safe forum for sharing and connecting. It was also an opportunity for me to see what the needs were that day, and a lesson in communication, respect, personal responsibility, and empathy. The expectations I had of them, and what grew to be the expectations they began to have for themselves and each other, helped them all begin to learn what respectful communication and active listening looked and felt like. Each student developed the confidence and understanding that they deserved to be listened to, heard, and respected. I watched it happen before my eyes, and it was awesome; particularly for the kids who tended to be on the quiet/shy side, and didn't have a lot of confidence.
I had a class of talkers and sharers, so instead of trying to get them to be quiet, I decided I would give them their chance to talk at the beginning of the day, to get out what they wanted (and needed) to say. This became our “Check-in”.
I did not realize it when we started it, but Check-in turned out to be one of the most powerful activities that we did.
Check-in not only gave me the opportunity to meaningfully connect with each student everyday, but for them to connect with each other. This daily ritual was critical in building the sense of community and connection that developed in our class. It gave each child the opportunity to ‘have their say’ at the beginning of every day, to say how they felt and why, and provided a safe forum for sharing and connecting. It was also an opportunity for me to see what the needs were that day, and a lesson in communication, respect, personal responsibility, and empathy. The expectations I had of them, and what grew to be the expectations they began to have for themselves and each other, helped them all begin to learn what respectful communication and active listening looked and felt like. Each student developed the confidence and understanding that they deserved to be listened to, heard, and respected. I watched it happen before my eyes, and it was awesome; particularly for the kids who tended to be on the quiet/shy side, and didn't have a lot of confidence.
Our "Check-in" went like this:
After doing our Calm Breathing, we sat in a circle at the carpet, boy-girl-boy-girl (this helped with our "hands-to-self" rule, and helped with focus). The lights remained off. The "Special Helper" of the day held a beanbag (if you had the beanbag, it was your turn to talk; if you didn't have it, you were a listener), and when they had the attention, consideration, and respect of everyone, began with their check-in. They each gave a number rating from 1-10 (1 being the worst and 10 the best) in terms of how they were doing that day, then associated that number with what was making them feel that way. Often, they gave more than one number (e.g. "I am a 3 because I'm hungry, but I'm a 10 because I'm going to my friend's house today"). Older kids may be able to average their number and be able to give just one (e.g. "I'm an 8 because I'm tired, but I am happy because it's Friday"). After sharing their number and why they were that number, each student made a gratitude statement for something they were grateful for that day. We talked about what gratitude was, and that while we can be grateful for the "big" things, such as family and shelter, we can also recognize gratitude for the simple things: sunshine, ice cream, a good sleep, strawberries, etc.
The very cool thing I observed was that most of the kids were genuinely and deeply considering and thinking about their number and gratitude statement before making it; what they were saying was meaningful and relevant to them. Of course, there were a couple of kids who gave a standard number and statement, but even most of those few, evolved to a more meaningful consideration of it. Further, finishing what they had to say with a gratitude statement helped to frame whatever they had said with a positive spin, allowing them to identify something good about their life.
I learned a great deal about what was important and meaningful to each child through this activity. I also learned how they were feeling each day (and often, why), and I learned what their physical and mental state was each morning. This helped me to approach them and any situation that arose throughout the day with an informed perspective, allowing me to gauge my reactions and how I handled things based on the information I had. It also allowed them to develop the perspective of me as someone who cares about them and what they have to say, someone who will listen to them, and expect others to listen to them as well, and someone who is willing to listen and try to understand before making a decision or judgment call about something. This allowed them to be very open with me about their feelings, and we were able to engage in very productive conversations around things that were challenging, or struggles being had. This helped us build relationships and a sense of community in our class.
As they connected with me, they also made connections to their peers; allowing their peers to better understand and connect with them. The students began to show concern for one another and ask questions about what was shared. Many of them made connections to what others had said and about how others were feeling. This activity turned out to be one of the most powerful ones that we did.
I believe Check-In can be done with any elementary grade- clearly older students would not sit in a circle on the floor, but it can be done just as they sit at their desks, or in any constellation that works for them and their teacher.
Check-In took a fair bit of time every morning, about twenty-five to thirty minutes. I often felt pressure to speed it up or to stop doing it because of the academic work that we needed to attend to, but I realized that this thirty minutes every morning probably saved me a fair bit of time dealing with behavioural issues throughout the day, and set the tone for a more positive day for everyone. This activity was well worth the time it took in the day, and is definitely an activity that lends to developing community, connections, relationships, and empathy.
Here is another version of Check-In, called the "Morning Meeting":
After doing our Calm Breathing, we sat in a circle at the carpet, boy-girl-boy-girl (this helped with our "hands-to-self" rule, and helped with focus). The lights remained off. The "Special Helper" of the day held a beanbag (if you had the beanbag, it was your turn to talk; if you didn't have it, you were a listener), and when they had the attention, consideration, and respect of everyone, began with their check-in. They each gave a number rating from 1-10 (1 being the worst and 10 the best) in terms of how they were doing that day, then associated that number with what was making them feel that way. Often, they gave more than one number (e.g. "I am a 3 because I'm hungry, but I'm a 10 because I'm going to my friend's house today"). Older kids may be able to average their number and be able to give just one (e.g. "I'm an 8 because I'm tired, but I am happy because it's Friday"). After sharing their number and why they were that number, each student made a gratitude statement for something they were grateful for that day. We talked about what gratitude was, and that while we can be grateful for the "big" things, such as family and shelter, we can also recognize gratitude for the simple things: sunshine, ice cream, a good sleep, strawberries, etc.
The very cool thing I observed was that most of the kids were genuinely and deeply considering and thinking about their number and gratitude statement before making it; what they were saying was meaningful and relevant to them. Of course, there were a couple of kids who gave a standard number and statement, but even most of those few, evolved to a more meaningful consideration of it. Further, finishing what they had to say with a gratitude statement helped to frame whatever they had said with a positive spin, allowing them to identify something good about their life.
I learned a great deal about what was important and meaningful to each child through this activity. I also learned how they were feeling each day (and often, why), and I learned what their physical and mental state was each morning. This helped me to approach them and any situation that arose throughout the day with an informed perspective, allowing me to gauge my reactions and how I handled things based on the information I had. It also allowed them to develop the perspective of me as someone who cares about them and what they have to say, someone who will listen to them, and expect others to listen to them as well, and someone who is willing to listen and try to understand before making a decision or judgment call about something. This allowed them to be very open with me about their feelings, and we were able to engage in very productive conversations around things that were challenging, or struggles being had. This helped us build relationships and a sense of community in our class.
As they connected with me, they also made connections to their peers; allowing their peers to better understand and connect with them. The students began to show concern for one another and ask questions about what was shared. Many of them made connections to what others had said and about how others were feeling. This activity turned out to be one of the most powerful ones that we did.
I believe Check-In can be done with any elementary grade- clearly older students would not sit in a circle on the floor, but it can be done just as they sit at their desks, or in any constellation that works for them and their teacher.
Check-In took a fair bit of time every morning, about twenty-five to thirty minutes. I often felt pressure to speed it up or to stop doing it because of the academic work that we needed to attend to, but I realized that this thirty minutes every morning probably saved me a fair bit of time dealing with behavioural issues throughout the day, and set the tone for a more positive day for everyone. This activity was well worth the time it took in the day, and is definitely an activity that lends to developing community, connections, relationships, and empathy.
Here is another version of Check-In, called the "Morning Meeting":
Here is what Heart-Mind Online says about Check-Ins: Youth Circles: Check-ins & Debriefs
A lesson plan "What is Gratitude" from Heart-Mind Online
To see what the students thought of this activity, check out the Feedback page.
A lesson plan "What is Gratitude" from Heart-Mind Online
To see what the students thought of this activity, check out the Feedback page.